The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
