There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
