I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
