I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My life is pants optional.
Randomize