you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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