I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
