Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
