She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
