I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The power of my boobs compel you
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
