splinters make it hard to masturbate
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
