You can't special order awesome
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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