so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
