Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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