He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
