Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
