Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
