do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
handjob tips. give me some.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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