How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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