Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
