She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
