So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
