Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
