bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
