you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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