cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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