i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
