I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
