Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Randomize
