i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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