WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
