Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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