Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
