Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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