Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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