five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
