I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
