i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
