hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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