sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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