I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
