spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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