The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
