Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
