I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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