Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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