VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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