he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
