is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
