Already got asked if we're dating
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
