Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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