don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
