i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
