I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
