Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
try to milk me bitch
Randomize