I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
