So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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